TERRA LINDA TERRORIST - PART THREE BY R.J. MCDUFFIE (read only after reading parts one and two)
Last year I had Mr. Coleman for U.S. history. Mr. Coleman is a great guy, but he likes to keep things secret. One mystery in his class was regarding this wierd thing in his classroom. It was this 3 1/2 foot dummy thing with a furry body and face, t-shirt, and shorts. Imagine Cousin It from the Addams Family wearing clothes. Mr. Coleman said this thing was named "Lumpy." Lumpy was just this creepy thing that leaned against the wall all year, and whenever someone would ask Mr. Coleman about Lumpy, Mr. Coleman would simply respond, "He is Lumpy." So back to my night in the old, mysterious TL filing cabinet room. The person standing less than ten feet away from me was Lumpy. A hairy little face stared at me, not talking. Just standing and staring, with me staring back. It was extremely terrifying. I always was afraid of things like dolls and ventriloquist dummies coming alive. I couldn't decide whether to run right by him or fight him. Being the brave macho guy that I am, I decided to run right by him. I sprinted to the doorway, my leg brushing Lumpy, and was about five feet clear of Lumpy when I literally ran into someone. I fell to the floor, looked up, and saw that I ran into Simon! "Watch where your going!" he exclaimed. I yelled at him in confusion, "Simon! What the smeg are you doing here?" "I thought I could help you with you investigation, I found out what the microchip is for." Simon pointed at something behind me. Lumpy was walking towards us! I yelped and Lumpy stopped. Simon cleared his throat so I turned around to see what he wanted. Simon was holding up a remote control. "Watch this," he said. Simon pressed some buttons on the remote control and lumpy waved his hand. Simon explained what was going on to me. "You see, after many hours of research, I discovered that this was a microchip that belonged inside of a remote control. I built a remote control for it, and used the coding in the microchip to track down its input signal. The signal brought me right to Lumpy. I fiddled with the remote control, and Lumpy started to move." I wasn't really paying attention, I was more curious to know why it was in a Yoo-Hoo carton. "So why was the chip in a Yoo-Hoo?" I asked. "Well," said Simon, "I also did some research on Yoo-Hoo and found out that what ever is inside of the carton can't be seen in a metal detector." I was so clueless. But at least we knew some stuff about what was going on. "So then what next?" I asked Simon. He responded, "I know EXACTLY what we need to do next. Meet me tommorrow at my house at five o'clock, and bring a pogo stick, a suitcase, a goat, and a bag of chocolate chip cookies."
ryan ~ ryanmcduffie@hotmail.com ~ 2/10/2003 05:48:36 PM