TERRA LINDA TERRORIST - PART TWO BY R.J. MCDUFFIE (read only after reading part one)
So now I had a major breakthrough. Rick Cataldi and his terrorist acts had something to do with Yoo-Hoo. So what else could I do, but have myself a little Yoo-Hoo?
Right after I left TL from my investigation, I headed over to my local grocery store to buy myself some Yoo-Hoo. I bought two six packs of the cartons with the little bendy straws. I went home with the dozen cartons of Yoo-Hoo and sat myself down on my favorite chair.
I started to drink. I drank and drank and drank. I was finishing my second to last Yoo-Hoo when the stupid little curly straw fell into the carton. My dad always pestered me about having to recycle, and I just couldn't recycle a cardboard Yoo-Hoo carton with a plastic straw inside of it. It had to go into the cardboard recycling, and there was plastic in it. I preceded to carefully unfold the cardboard flaps on the carton and then tear it at the seams. A few drops of Yoo-Hoo- dripped down onto my leg. I was getting the straw out when I noticed something else inside of the carton. It was a small microchip, with the insignia BarnesCo. written on it. Hmmm. BarnesCo.? As in Biff Barnes, the principal at TL last year? It must have been if the teachers were in on it.
Now I needed to find out what the microchip did. I knew just the man that could help me with that. After recovering from the sickness I got from drinking eleven Yoo-Hoo's, I went to the residence of Simon Armstrong. Simon was a wiz with these kind of things. After all, he IS named Simon. Simon curiously looked at the microchip. "This is a design I have never seen before. It will take me a couple of days to find out what its function is," said Simon. I thanked him and decided to go back to school, afterhours of course, to see if I could find out a little backstory on Barnes. I couldn't just waltz right in though, so after school the next day I sneeked into Mr. Polk's room when he left to the bathroom, and hid under his desk. He never goes behind his desk, and I knew the janitors wouldn't notice me. I had to wait for all faculty members to leave the school grounds before I could search the building. It was around 9:30 p.m. when I decided it was safe to come out of hiding. I thought it would be funny to first take Mr. Polk's rubber bands and then leave the classroom. I put the rubber bands in my pocket and headed to the office. I walked around the familiar office area until I noticed a mysterious door hidden in a dark alcove. I went through the mysterious entrance and was confronted with an overwhelming amount of large cobweb covered filing cabinets. I had to start somewhere so I just opened the cabinet closest to me. What I saw could only be described as, some would say, OMG. These were highly confidential files regarding the hidden past of TL and its faculty. I shuffled through the different files that were labeled all sorts of different things: Why Mr. Coleman really quit being a lawyer, How old Ms. O'Brien is, Raul's alien abduction, Isaac the vampire computer guy; the list went on. I was busy looking through the files when I heard the door to the room I was in open. Why the smeg would someone else be here now? I was so scared I stained by pants brown. I carefully turned around to see who it was, hoping to god not to see anyone to terribly horrifying. But who it was was not terribly horrifying, but rather the most horrifying person that could possibly be standing there, less than ten feet away from me.
ryan ~ ryanmcduffie@hotmail.com ~ 2/1/2003 12:10:12 AM
For those of you who know this jolly old fellow, we have...Dr. Mannion Quotes!
I missed a lot of good ones, and I'm sure the best ofthis year are yet to come, but here they are.
"It would be bouncing around at 400 meters per second... that's four football fields per second. It would be like a laser show... on drugs..."
"Now, it's okay if you go a little over... *grumble*... I went a little over"
"But there's one way that's more rapid... quick... perfect."
"The goddamn walking discman, or whatever it's called. Those friggin stupid earphones."
"Rapid diffusion of, uh... rapid diffusion."
And as a last minute entry- "The bigger you room, the more crap you get." (kudos to Ruff Stuff McDuff)
For those who remember good ones from last year let me know, I could have "vintage Mannion" quotes or something.
Levi ~ spot828@hotmail.com ~ 1/28/2003 11:11:04 AM
Okay, its finally comng out with no dilution. Don't be conservative. Seriously don't. I am really sick of the conservative mindset that I have to deal with every day. Because, to me, it seems that every bad part of high school is synony... synono... related to being conservative. Now, I know there are exceptions, but it really seems that a good deal of the assholes, jocks, racists, hardcore drinkers/drugies, and combinations thereof are conservative. And its not always the conservativelyness itself that bugs me. It's the things that come along with it and influence it that bug me. Its the fact that most people who are conservative have the kind of personality that makes them obtrusively conservative. I mean, I respect thier right to be conservative and all, but its hard to keep that mindset when they won't respect my right to be anything but. I would tell you an anicdote but the bell rang.
Sunday. Three movies. XD.
Levi ~ spot828@hotmail.com ~ 1/27/2003 12:07:45 PM